Dear Melodramatic Meredith,
I am an LCSW and therapist with a specialty in ADHD. My son has ADHD. I keep trying to get him to have conversations about this and how it affects his life in the long run. He is not interested. He does not want to do his schoolwork and resists added support. All he talks about is baseball and wanting to be a professional ball player one day! I know he is only in elementary school, but I am worried if he does not take this seriously, it will mess up his entire future. Did you talk to your child about their diagnosis and how did you get them to be open to it?
Sincerely, A Frustrated Professional Mother
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Dear Frustrated Professional Mother,
I did not bring up a specific diagnosis until they started to ask about it. In general, I don’t think the diagnosis is important to talk about. It is so much more important to normalize what they are going through. I had a child receive social skills support outside of what other children were receiving. When they started to show resistance to that I pointed out their advanced placement in Math and how some kids have to have extra help with that. It is important to relate to them so they know they can talk with you. I told them how hard social life was for me in middle school and high school and how I wish I had those supports early on. And it’s true, I do! Now a couple years later, my child became curious about his diagnosis and asked about ADHD, then conversations in that language started.
When it comes to where you are with your son right now. I would encourage you to look to get creative. Ask him his favorite baseball player. Look into that person’s life – everyone has a life outside of what they do. This will help you show your kiddo a bigger picture. As a therapist, you know how much ADHD impacts relationships. It could help to focus on that player’s family and any special interests outside of sports and go from there.
Hang in there,
Meredith Ann
Alternatives with Care 